A night of debauchery and sexual fun

Wow!

That’s all I can think about after finishing the last chapter (that’s before reading the epilogue) and really, I am left utterly speechless and an emotional wrecked. I don’t know what to feel – anger, hate, love, deflated maybe? It’s all a mixed and my head is somewhere between I’m not even sure what.

Although after reading the epilogue, and considering my thoughts about epilogue itself, well it left me in a state of indecision. I’m not sure if I actually liked it or not, hence the half point there, and considering what I felt and what I think being in synced in a state of uncertainty, that’s a lot to be said. Usually, either my thoughts or my emotions override one another. Well, before I delved deeper into that, let’s go back to the beginning itself.

I’ve only thought about reading this book because I’ve read Taint and it was something that left a mark. It was one of my favorite books, considering I’ve reread it a couple of times and well hello, Justice Drake, that sexual man, do I need to say more? It’s been a while, I think over a year and quite frankly, all I remember is Ally and Justice. Never thought his dragon of a publicist will have a story of her own.

I can only describe Heidi as a Pitbull, but beneath all that sass and tongue-lashing is a broken woman with needs that she’s too afraid to own. Living in her head actually makes me think of women in general, their fears, their insecurities, the very life the women lives appearing strong and confident but you really don’t know what she’s hiding beneath the mask that she presented to the world.

Tucker is man I want to hate and love at the same time. He’s so loving and considerate and calm and somehow I wanted to shout in his face and tell him to get angry, to scream and curse. But deep down, I want him. That kind of man who would only think what his woman wants, and provide what she needs. The sacrifices he made, he’s like I don’t know, on his way for being proclaimed a saint for that matter. But behind all that, there’s a mystery that surrounds him and aside from his gentle ways, I wanted to see what that calmness behind would unleash if he ever loses control.

I didn’t really like Ransom Reed. Sure, he was sex personified. But he was like the stereotyped artist, that with all his brooding and his personality, I didn’t get the mystery vibe nor did I felt for him being broken. He was hot, he was a woman’s fantasy but that’s all that, a fantasy.

This is more like a story of an old vice, that you want one thing you can never have or someone unattainable and when presented the opportunity, you all but crumble and struggle to get your bearings fast enough to get what has been offer and devour it.

Heidi’s action, if viewed with a closed mind, can be frowned upon. She will be condemned and with Justice’s reaction, he was disappointed with her. But I see her in a different light. As much as how Taint have painted the life of Manhattan wives in a very realistic life, the Author painted Heidi in a way that makes you question if this does really happened in real life. Not the trip to Oasis or being Justice’s publicist, of course, because that’s just a dream, but her married life and the routine that she and Tucker have built continue to live their life.

This book is a must read, as it is one of my favorite subject: rediscovering women’s sexuality. But if you don’t have an opened mind, or you’re easily offended, please don’t even think of looking at this book. Move on. Seriously.

So, going back to the whys of my indecision, here it is: at the end of the last chapter, I felt I was left in a state that I want more, I want to know more. The author left me craving and I all but beg that this should not be the ending. It’s like me saying, ’No! You can’t do this to me!’ I wanted there to be an epilogue, something to give me closure. Anything to be satisfied. And there it is, what I’ve been asking for and I was surprised, to be honest. I didn’t expect it. Still, no matter, my feelings and thoughts are left in uncertainty.

Anyway, with all that, there’s one thing that made an impact to me. Aside from reading more of Justice and Ally, because hello I love them, I think I needed to track down, maybe hire a hacker or something all of Justice’s clients before the Oasis was turned into a spa for couples. Just saying.